


Mirror of Mourning

by knightinpinkunderwear



Series: Whumptober 2020 Dexter & Criminal Minds [7]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Dexter (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Season/Series 04, Season/Series 05, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020, Widowed, theyre blaming themselves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27082666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinpinkunderwear/pseuds/knightinpinkunderwear
Summary: Haley is dead and it's his fault.Rita is dead and it's his fault.Whumptober Day 19:Theme: Broken HeartsPrompt(s): Grief & Mourning Loved Ones
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Haley Hotchner, Rita Bennett/Dexter Morgan
Series: Whumptober 2020 Dexter & Criminal Minds [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946476
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Mirror of Mourning

**Author's Note:**

> Technically speaking season 5 of CM takes place at the same time as season 4 of Dexter. So Rita and Haley die within a couple of months of each other.  
> (Also Dexter and Hotch are only about 8-9 months apart in age).

Haley is dead. Fact. George Foyet is dead as well. Also a fact. 

He killed the murderer with his own hands. The carpet will forever be stained with blood. Because he will always know what happened here. Haley lost her life. And he couldn’t save her. 

Jack was safe. Hidden away, “working the case.” 

Jack is too relieved to see him to notice the blood. But all of these clothes will need to be thrown away. Even if the real stains are gone he won’t be able to look at them without thinking of the blood, Haley’s and Foyet’s and his, on his son. He wouldn’t be able to look without imagining what Foyet would have done to his son. 

He already holds too many scars, one his stomach and chest. From the knife. 

He was supposed to catch the bad guys. Keep people safe. But he couldn’t even protect his own family. 

He couldn’t protect Haley. And now she is gone. 

And now Jack has no mother and he is only four. Haley was only 37. 

He should have known Foyet would escape prison. He should have requested the man go out of state. He should have just died when Foyet attacked him in his apartment. That way Haley and Jack never would have been targeted. 

But he could never guarantee their safety from Foyet had he died. 

Not that living saved Haley. 

Haley and Jack would have been better off if he’d just taken that transfer. If he’d just listened to her and taken a job that let him be home and didn’t threaten his or his family’s safety. 

Haley would be alive if he just listened to her. 

Rita is dead. That is a fact. And it is his fault, he knows that with as much certainty as he knows what is and has always been wrong with his relationships, his family. 

He’s what is wrong. 

He hasn’t felt this empty since he realized he wanted to be a father, to be there for Harisson. Since Harrison was born. 

He feels nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

He found his wife dead, murdered, on their first anniversary and he feels nothing. 

Just as he felt nothing when his foster parents died. 

He lost almost every important person in his life and he feels nothing. 

He understands why Jeremy Downs did it. 

Pretending doesn’t work. It doesn’t help. It only hurts the people around him. 

It only makes the emptiness more obvious. 

It only hurt the people he cared about. Did he really care about them, though? How could he claim that if he could not cry for them?

If everyone in the world were to die, would he care? 

If Astor, or Cody, or Deb, or Harrison died would he be able to cry for them?

He doesn’t know anymore. 

He would never let anything happen to the kids, to his kids. 

He skipped his ritual and killed a man in anger when he insulted Rita. He killed a man who didn’t fit the code because he was taking pictures of the kids in their swimsuits. 

He wanted to care for them, to protect them. But clearly he could not feel anything for them. 

He could not grieve them. Or sympathize. 

So what was the point of pretending? All he would do is find some new way to get them hurt. 

He’d indirectly killed both of Astor and Cody’s real parents. The kids would be better off without him. It was his fault anyway. 

It was all his fault, he should never have let Arthur Mitchell live. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ouch. I miss Haley and Rita :'(


End file.
